Is it enough just to be lovers and not share anything deeper? It is if you don’t want the relationship to last. Friendship is what builds longevity in relationships so if you want a partnership with more substance, being friends will build intimacy and understanding. The more you share with your partner the more open and honest your interaction will be. Of course, there is some vulnerability in doing this, but as you gradually open your heart on a personal level your partner will reciprocate. However, like any friendship it will take time. Strong bonds of love, trust and respect are not built over night; it grows over time with a sharing and caring attitude for each other.
Being friends as well as being passionate and intimate with your lover will build a healthy happy relationship, and when you’re happy you generally feel better about your life and yourself. When you’re unhappy in your relationship you can become irritable, unrealistic and inflexible. This all adds up to distress and can be so overwhelming it overshadows the rest of your life. If the distress continues, that’s when the all-important links of communication can break down and heartache and resentment takes over.
Read on for ten tips on how to ensure you have a happy, healthy relationship with your partner, which includes friendship and passion:
1. Communication is number one; second guessing your partners thoughts and feelings can lead to misunderstandings so get used to communicating. This means asking questions and being a good listener.
2. Don’t be too rigid and self-opinionated. By all means have your own point of view, but allow your partner to have theirs and respect that you are not always going to agree on everything. After all, this is what makes you individual and unique, so sometimes it’s necessary to agree to disagree.
3. Make time; It doesn’t matter if it’s on the phone, in writing or physically connecting, put time aside to genuinely be with each other, just the two of you.
4. Share yourself. When you tell your partner something personal, it makes you more human and real, building a closer bond.
5. If you have an issue, talk about it but not when you are angry. Make a time to discuss issues, but don’t blame and criticize, instead, tell him or her how you feel.
6. Recognize when you’re wrong and say sorry. Don’t be stubborn, life is too short.
7. Don’t be a people pleaser; it’s nice to be there for others but not at the expense of your relationship. Before you say yes to requests from well meaning people, ask yourself what’s most important at this time.
8. Be passionate. As much as you work on being friends don’t forget passion. If you have a strong friendship as well as passionate intimacy you will be forever happy.
9. Keep your own identity. Have an independent life and you will be a more interesting and fulfilled person.
10. And finally, be yourself. If you portray the ‘real you’, a healthy happy relationship with friendship and passion will come easily.